im drinking this country out of the recession.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
