Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
