That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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