he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
