her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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