69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
so much tequila, so little girl.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
