Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
