have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
