I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
These tits shall not be calmed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
