We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
