You're so nebulous sometimes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
