I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
