I just pynch a tree in the face
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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