nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
