I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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