he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
