I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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