I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
