Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
