the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
