think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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