____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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