its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dick very happy bro
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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