i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
