I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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