she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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