Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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