phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize