sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
