I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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