I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to