I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.