Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.