I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
