i think i have two assholes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
