So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
