ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm jealous of your bromance
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
