Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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