Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
