One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
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just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
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Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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