one two three fourrrrnication!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
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I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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