hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
