they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
