I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sext me about skeletons
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And then he peed in my hair
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