You just made me feel so damn special
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
