I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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