I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
