wanna go halves on a baby?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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