Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
