It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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