I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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