she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
