one might say we're banned from that church
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
