Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
