this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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