do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
