all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize