tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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