it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
