Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
