I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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